A Curious Adults' Guide To TikTok

September 23, 2020, Madeleine Davies

The teens are loving it, and I'm loving it too. Here's how to handle the noisy viral app.

If you were born after 1997, you might think that TikTok, the short-form video sharing network that routinely mines your data for nefarious purposes, is not for you. That’s because it’s not, and the teens who populate the app will remind you of that by calling you a “boomer” at any given opportunity, even if you’re not one.

But here’s the thing: TikTok rules, even though, yes, most of its content is extremely stupid. As human garbage, I’m personally a fan of any video platform where I can watch public freakouts, people falling down, and creative usage of audio by Tiffany “New York” Pollard from Flavor of Love (on Hulu, by the way, in case you’re looking for another dumb/entertaining way to spend your time cooped up at home), all from the comfort of bed or, more likely, the toilet.

@godbamit this audio has potential #potato #xyzbca #familydinner #foryou #farmlife ♬ original sound - bam

If you’re considering joining the world of TikTok, you might find yourself struggling over a few hurdles: For example, you could keep getting stuck on the question of “Isn’t TikTok just bad Vine?” And yes. That’s exactly what it is, but Vine is dead and we are alive, so we must move on. Besides, there are plenty of TikTok hommages to Vine, if that’s what you’re looking for, and what’s funny about them is rarely the content, but that kids talk about Vine the same way millennials talk about Nick at Nite or “playing outside,” a nostalgic memory from another time. “Where were you when you first watched Damn Daniel” is their version of our “Remember when Titanic came out?” and their answers are equally inane, only they’re at least funny and self aware about it.

Another thing you might find intimidating is the sheer amount of extremely loud content that you encounter after downloading and opening the app. Unless you have the volume turned all the way down on your phone, TikTok immediately and quite literally screams at you, tossing you directly into an endless stream of extremely loud video clips that are full of inside jokes you probably won’t understand. If you can’t deal with that, the app is not for you. But if you’re willing to wade in, your bravery will be rewarded in a multitude of stupid and funny ways.

@packmentality At this point, it’s #myfault 🤦🏻‍♀️ #lawandorder #magnumtheboxer #spaghetti #thief #funnypet #badboy #monday #mystery